Fred and Lamont have been busy planting a small garden in their yard when suddenly a professor stumbles in and suggests that they may be sitting on some oil. Later, Fred plants his scarecrow in the garden and actually strikes some oil. This leads to Fred and Lamont to ponder the fact that they may soon be millionaires
After a woman asks Archie to put out is cigar, Archie defends his smoking habit. Soon, the Bunker house is locked in a battle of wills after Mike vows he can go without food longer than Archie can abstain from smoking.
In a crooked attempt to buy the building next to his cleaning store, George Jefferson has decided to run for a position on the Republican county commission and needs Archie to sign a petition. Naturally, Archie wants to know what's in it for him if he signs.
Edith stops by the Jeffersons home to say goodbye to her dear friend, Louise. It seems that George his struck it big with his dry cleaning business and has decided to 'move on up to the East side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky.'
Edith takes a life expectancy quiz in a magazine and the results state that Edith will live to be a ripe old age. However, when Archie takes the quiz, it only gives him another seven years of life. This has Archie reconsidering his bad habits of drinking and smoking.
Mike is all excited when the Lorenzos and Lionel are coming over after dinner for a game of 'Group Therapy.' Archie takes one look at some of the questions that are asked during a game and quickly rushes off for drinks at Kelsey's bar. Later, during the game, Mike childishly refuses to accept criticism from everyone involved.
The Christmas season has everyone in the Christmas spirit. For a joke, Archie purchases some fake nose and mustache glasses that were on sale, but Mike also happened to go to that same store and hit that same sale. Meanwhile, Edith returns from a doctor checkup and confides in Gloria the fact that she has a lump in her breast and she fears it may be breast cancer.
Fred wakes up one morning to discover what looks like a robbery took place but learns that there was a small earthquake overnight. Grady breaks the news that a big one is scheduled to hit on the 6th and a fed up Fred decides to sell the house and move. Meanwhile, Fred heads to Las Vegas to avoid the earthquake on the 6th and has a run in with Merv Griffin and Steve and Eydie.
Archie spouts off his ideas about women in sports and claims that men can play any sport better than women. Hearing this, Irene challenges Archie to a pool match, where he is eager to prove his point, that is until he discovers Irene has won pool tournaments. This is when he backs off and complains of a sore back to get out of the bet, claiming Frank has put an Italian curse on him.
Edith has been running herself ragged caring for Archie, Mike and Gloria, who have all come down with a terrible flu. This prompts her to call on her extremely liberal Cousin Maude to come and stay with the Bunkers and help out. Maude proves to be salt in an already open wound for Archie, who has never liked Maude and vice versa.